Jesus' Coming Back

Borderline Sacrilege: Some Sick Freak Drew Fanart Of Mario Just Wearing Normal Jeans

Illustration for article titled Borderline Sacrilege: Some Sick Freak Drew Fanart Of Mario Just Wearing Normal Jeans

Jesus Christ, we don’t know what to say, gamers. There are many strange and, indeed, unsettling things on the internet, but this latest one crosses the line of all that is decent and good in the world: Some sick freak named X_Switch_58 drew fanart of Mario just wearing normal jeans and a red shirt, and it isn’t okay.

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What kind of human being would upload this repulsive thing onto Deviant Art where anyone can see it? A complete fucking sicko, that’s who.

Honestly, we just want to vomit looking at our favorite Italian plumber standing there wearing a grin on his face and a pair of blue Levi’s that don’t extend to his upper torso. That’s right: No gold buttons. No little blue straps. Nothing but a pair of denim trousers around his waist. It just looks… so wrong.

The real question is whether we’ll ever be able to look at Mario in the same way again, and the obvious answer is no. There’s no fucking way. And it’s all because of the pathetic excuse for a person who thought putting this sort of thing online was okay.

Well, gamers, it isn’t okay. We’re going to go out and drink some hard liquor and hope it washes the memory of this abomination out of our memory, but we know that thing is probably burned into our brain for good.

Goddamnit, everyone. Ugh.

The Onion

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