CUDDEBACKVILLE, NY—Raising speculation as to whether the team was age-eligible for the game, incredulous little league sources confirmed Friday that Westchester Tigers players had their last names on the back of their jerseys. “These kids must be loaded,” said first-baseman Eric “Big Choo” Sanders, noting the opposing players’ matching cleats and baseball bats. “The second I saw those names, I knew we were fucked. Their jerseys are made by Adidas, we’ve got the logo of a pizzeria on our backs. I heard their assistant coach used to play for the Orioles, so he probably knows a guy. Their shortstop is nationally ranked, too. He’s got his nickname on his freaking glove.” At press time, little league sources announced that, holy shit, the Tigers had a team bus with a vinyl-wrapped graphic of their players.
Jesus Christ is King
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