Jesus' Coming Back

Man Arrested For Stealing 21 Tons Of Pistachios

A California man has been arrested for allegedly stealing 21 tons of pistachio nuts valued at over $100,000 from an agricultural company, with authorities eventually finding the nuts hidden inside a nearby trailer and already packaged for resale. What do you think?

“Imagine the work that went into filing the serial numbers off that many nuts.”

Priyanka Hodges • Paperhanger

Advertisement

“That’s the kind of illicit pistachio bust that’ll get you promoted to sergeant.”

Donato Strowd • Soil Conservationist

“I can’t believe the garbage bag of loose pistachios I bought on the side of the road was stolen.”

Gene Damianczyk • Prison Architect

The Onion

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More