LONDON, ENGLAND—Harrison Ford has reportedly retained a stuntman to perform dangerous stunts on the set of Indiana Jones 5, such as walking up some stairs or picking things up.
“It’s very normal to have a stuntman perform this kind of stuff,” said a publicist for Ford. “Almost no actors in Hollywood perform their own stunts, whether that’s walking up some steps, getting up from bed, or reaching a particularly high shelf. We just can’t risk our star actor getting injured trying to bend over and pick up a cursed idol or crystal alien skull thing.”
Unfortunately, the spry and energetic Ford couldn’t help himself, and told his stuntman to stand aside as he would walk up the stairs himself in one scene.
“I told him. I told him over and over. Stairs are a young man’s game,” sighed Director James Mangold. “One flight, maybe, but two? No way, that’s stunt man territory. But once he gets into character, there’s no reasoning with the guy.”
The accident reportedly occurred while filming a scene in which Indy, disguised once again as a Nazi, is attempting to recover the most coveted artifact of the Nazi party: Nancy Pelosi’s podium. Indy was on his way to the roof for a helicopter escape when gravity finally caught up with Professor Jones.
Mr. Ford reportedly blames the Nazis for his fall, given their penchant for slick, well polished boots. He tried to use his whip to catch a hold of the railing, but managed only to smack a camera guy in the face.
“Honestly, we’re lucky this didn’t happen before,” said co-star Phoebe Waller-Bridge. “Initialy we tried to get Harrison to let the stunt man help with all the risky stuff – stepping off curbs, getting out of the shower – but he would have none of it. Still, I tried my hardest to talk Harrison out of the stairs, that was insane – like asking a giraffe to cross a glacier. Could see that fall coming a mile away.”
Jesus Christ is King
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