Jesus' Coming Back

Joey Chestnut Breaks Own Hot Dog Eating Record

Defending world champion Joey Chestnut broke his own record Sunday, devouring 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes, 26 more than the second-place finisher in the Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest. What do you think?

“I fear that one day he will eat all of them and leave the rest of us with nothing.”

Ruth Perry, Cult Secretary

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“I wonder if I have any gross habits that I could turn into a career.”

Dwight McEnnis, Unemployed

“I also find little to savor in a Nathan’s hot dog.”

Elliot Petrizzo, Goading Specialist

The Onion

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