New Shower Has Extra-Hot ‘Wife’ Temperature Setting That Will Literally Melt The Flesh From Your Bones

U.S.—Popular plumbing and bath products manufacturer Kohler Co. has introduced a new shower tap that gets the water hot enough to literally melt the flesh from your bones. Known as the “wife” setting, the shower gets up to 800 degrees Fahrenheit, enough to make men literally melt where they stand, since they are pansy babies who can’t take a little pain.

Wives who have tested the product so far, however, say they “can’t get enough” of the heat level and aren’t sure what their husbands are complaining about.

“Honestly, it’s still a little too cold,” said Destiny Hombre of San Andreas, CA. “I wish they could kick it up a few extra degrees. It’s kind of like I’m in the arctic. I guess it’s better than those old miserable showers that only got up to a pathetic 112 degrees.”

Destiny’s husband has since been found dead, a pile of melted flesh, his skeleton frozen screaming in agony, after he got in the new shower when she accidentally left the setting on “Wife.”