Wildlife Officials Restock Lake By Dropping Thousands Of Fishermen From Plane

BOULDER, UT—In a process that officials explained the state had been carrying out for decades, the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources reportedly completed their annual restocking of a lake Wednesday by dropping thousands of fishermen from a plane. “We wish the population would replenish itself naturally, but unfortunately they don’t reproduce at high enough rates,” said biologist Greg Cook, who watched with pride and delight as a door on the bottom of the plane opened and thousands of anglers tumbled down toward the water below. “Sure, it might look strange, but some of these lakes have elevations of upwards of 10,000 feet, so this is the best way to get them there. We always make sure to select smaller specimens so they don’t hit the water as hard. Ah, there they go. What a sight. I think that’s the last of them.” At press time, Cook added that the fishermen had a 95% survival rate.

The Onion