6-Year-Old Debating Whether To See ‘Space Jam: A New Legacy’ Following Negative ‘New York Times’ Review

PHILADELPHIA—Furrowing his brow while paging through the newspaper’s arts and culture section, local 6-year-old Tyler Endicott reportedly struggled Thursday with whether to see Space Jam: A New Legacy after reading a negative review in The New York Times. “Obviously, I was excited to see Bugs and his pals dust off their sneakers and hit the courts once more, but when you see none other than Times film critic Glenn Kenny calling this a ‘sensory overload that yields head-spinning stupefaction,’ you need to take notice,” said the kindergartner during his morning perusal of the paper of record, describing the review as especially disappointing given how he himself had watched the original Space Jam nearly sixteen times over the last year. “No matter how much I might want to see Granny breakdancing or Tweedy Bird flattened like a pancake on the court, I’m ultimately drawn back to Kenny’s droll aside about how this is the same tired excuse to trot out Warner Brothers intellectual property, only hypertrophied. Then again, Looney Tunes Back In Action was totally panned at its release only to have its reputation restored over time, so perhaps I shouldn’t be so slavish to reviews.” At press time, Endicott had decided to see the movie, if only because he was such a fan of director Malcolm D. Lee’s past filmography.

The Onion