Jesus' Coming Back

Johnson & Johnson, Drug Distributors Reach $26 Billion Deal To End Opioid Lawsuits

After two years, the country’s three largest drug distributors and pharmaceutical giant Johnson & Johnson have reached a $26 billion settlement that would release the companies from all legal liability in the opioid epidemic, with majority of the funds going toward paying for addiction and prevention services. What do you think?

“Wow, it could take them weeks to pay that off.”

Jake Leezy, Folklorist

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“I hope it’s just as easy to get hooked on the addiction and prevention services.”

Gina Putrino, Paste Mixer

“I would have gladly taken fentanyl as settlement in-kind.”

Brad Roa, Patent Holder

The Onion

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