Ottawa, ON – Following over a year of pandemic induced lockdown, a government PSA seeks to help Canadians rethink their relations to the fourth dimension.
“The first step is to remind people that events they think happened last year were actually two years ago,” explained The Royal Canadian Time Keeper Theodore Rangust. “It’s easy to forget that we’ve all aged while sitting around for eighteen months.”
The program’s next objective is to re-establish our relationship with clocks.
“There is a big stick and a little stick called hands,” the Time Keeper explained. “The little hand corresponds to minutes in increments of five, and twice a year we move the big one for… reasons. Try not to think about it too much.”
A series of short videos will be produced to raise awareness that the clocks are ticking again. In one, a family will forget about time and miss their flight. In another, a man who has stopped caring about time will find himself trapped inside an hourglass. In a third, a time lapse video of a friendly decomposing moose, will remind Canadians that their time too, is coming.
Overall, the public seems to support the initiative.
“I needed a refresher for what it’s called when the calendar thing changes,” said Linda Mallick “I told a friend I would call her on Monday… That was four months ago… She has a dog now.”
Others disagree, “I don’t need a bunch of numbers dictating where I go and when,” argued anti-time activist Ryson Calvet. “We got our independence from England to get out from under the hands of the Big Clock.”
The government urges relatives of said skeptics to assure them that, despite its quirks, the Gregorian calendar is safe and functional. Once a significant percentage of Canadians have a firm grasp of scheduling, the PSA will then address time-based initiatives, like ambition, purpose and having goals beyond existing.
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