Man Getting Evicted Wishes There Were Some Way He Could Go Out And Exchange His Labor For Money To Pay Rent

MARTON TOWNSHIP, TX,—Ryan Flowers has a problem: he’s getting evicted. His evil landlord has asked him to vacate the premises, since he hasn’t taken care of one tiny detail in over a year: “paying rent.”

“If only there were some way I could go out and exchange my labor or services for money I could use to pay rent,” he said sadly as he sat on a bench in the city, right in front of a giant “HELP WANTED” sign. He sighed and shuffled his feet. 

“Alas. No such system of voluntary exchange of labor and services for money exists, so I have no choice but to be evicted.”

“Sad! Not good!”

He then joined a group of protesters marching through the town demanding an eviction moratorium. The group marched past no fewer than 27 “Help Wanted” signs on their way to city hall.

UPDATE: the CDC has passed an eviction moratorium, so he’s in the clear. Phew!