The Conservative Party of Canada released their 162 page 2021 election platform yesterday. Unfortunately few people have been able to stop laughing at the cover long enough to read it. But have no fear, because we’ve put together this breakdown of the key planks of their platform.
Childcare
The Conservatives will replace the Liberals $10 a day daycare plan with a new program where every day is ‘Take Your Baby To Work’ day.
Vaccines
Unlike the Liberals and NDP, the Conservatives do not support making proof of COVID vaccination mandatory for federal employees or travellers. Instead people will have to make a blood oath to the ghost of John A Macdonald swearing that they don’t have COVID.
Mental Health
The Conservatives have announced significant new funding for mental health and addiction treatment in a move that party insiders say “is definitely not something we will actually do.”
Slogan
The party chose ‘Secure The Future’ for it’s 2021 campaign slogan after ‘Take Back Canada From The Libtards, Cucks and Foreigners’ was deemed a bit too wordy.
Environment
Erin O’Toole will replace Trudeau’s wasteful Carbon Tax with a simple plan that imposes a charge on top of the price of a customer’s purchase according to a rate set by the government, in order to reduce the carbon cost of that transaction.
Jobs
The party expects to create dozens of millions of new jobs in the first year after it passes a law requiring everyone to have at least 3. 4 if one of them is graphic designer.
Jesus Christ is King
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