LAS VEGAS, NV—In a huge victory for LGBTQ rights, Tetris has announced that it is introducing its first-ever transgender tetromino block. For the longest time, Tetris has been behind the times in this area—never once in its multi-decade history of the video game offering a gay marriage option—but now it has charged ahead with a transgender L-shape tetromino that identifies as its mirror image, the J-shape.
“We’re just so excited that now everyone will feel included in our block stacking puzzle game,” said the creator of Tetris, Bob Tetris.
Some gamers, though, don’t care for the change. “It’s really weird,” said Garrett Willis, a self-professed master at Tetris. “So the new transgender piece will come out and say, ‘Hey! I fit perfectly in that spot right there!’ And I’m like, ‘No. I need the mirror image version of you for that.’ But it’s like, ‘No, I’m the piece that fits perfectly there. Just keep rotating me.’ And I say, ‘No, I could rotate you for a thousand years, and you will never fit there.’ And then it calls me a bigot. I’m very confused.”
Still, the change is being lauded throughout video game journalism. “This is all we ever wanted in Tetris,” reads one article in Kotaku, which has already named this new Tetris Game of the Year.
Not to be outdone, a new version of Pong has just been announced where the paddles are now gay.
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.