Jesus' Coming Back

Liberals: “A vote for the NDP is a vote for Harper…I mean Scheer…I mean O’Toole”

OTTAWA – As the federal election campaign enters week two, the are once again reminding Canadians that voting for the will only help the scary Conservative Party leader, whoever he may be.

“To my left leaning friends, at the end of the day this election is a choice between two options,” said Trudeau at a rally. “Do you want a government led by me, or one led by , no , no Erin O’Toole.”

“We must once again set aside our narrow differences to stop whatever evil man who happens to be leading the Conservative Party this time around.”

Rather than attempt to win over progressive votes through policy or meaningful electoral reform, the Liberals appear to be once again going with the ‘other guy worse’ strategy. Which, in fairness, has worked for Trudeau 100% of the time.

“They sent me a mailer warning me that, in my riding, voting for the NDP candidate is the equivalent of voting for O’Toole. But they clearly just re-used their 2019 flyer because they had handwritten O’Toole’s name on a post-it pasted over Scheer’s name,” said Milton resident Dominique Herrera.

“If you vote NDP, then don’t be surprised when next time around it’s a Conservative government calling an unnecessary snap election for no reason,” said Trudeau.

In related news the were warning right-wing voters that a vote for the People’s Party of Canada probably wouldn’t hurt their chances, but was still real fucking dumb for a lot of reasons.

Beaverton

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