Jesus' Coming Back

Federal election downgraded to Twitter poll with Trudeau asking, “Do you like me?”

OTTAWA – Recently, Prime Minister Justin asked for a dissolution of parliament. With many condemning him due to its unencessity, Trudeau took to his , instead, to run a poll that asked “Do you like me?” With options “Yes <3” or “No 🙁 “

“He’s kind of been in a funk,” said Trudeau’s wife, Sophie Grégoire Trudeau. “He’s been complaining for a year and a half about how hard it is to lead during a pandemic. Lately, he’s been asking me if he should make a TikTok and this morning he showed me a poor rendition of the Renegade. I’m really embarrassed for him.”

“When it comes to COVID-19, I’m all for safety first,” said Prime Minister Trudeau, running his fingers through his flowy, non-cheugy hair. “That’s why I decided to just do the Twitter poll. Folks can vote without leaving their homes. Huh? You must like me now!”

Many Canadians, who have the right to vote in the Twitter poll, but may decline to do so (as that is taking a stance in itself), have been indifferent. A Liberal supporter from Vancouver, said, “Honestly, even a Twitter poll is more than I want to do right now in terms of an .”

In a poll about the poll, many have admitted that they skipped the voting altogether and just clicked on “see poll results.”

Many have also criticized Trudeau’s push for an election amidst the Taliban takeover currently happening in Afghanistan. When reached for comment, Trudeau was overheard talking to Haibatullah Akhundzada on the phone, saying, “Ok, but you’re still coming to my sleepover on Friday, right? You can’t bail this time, Sophie bought sodas.”

Meanwhile, Erin O’Toole has been working on his own campaign in which he asks people to add him on MySpace to their top 8 friend list.

At press time, Trudeau was creating fake Twitter accounts to click “Yes” on his poll even though the majority of likes were going to a comment that read, “Jagmeet Singh is cooler.”

Beaverton

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