You’ve heard of ISIS-K, the superspreader variant of ISIS that recently formed. But have you heard of these 17 even deadlier variants of the terrorist group?
ISIS-Pre-K – For terrorists ages 3-5
ISIS+ – Available for the low monthly subscription fee of $4.99
Flamin’ Hot ISIS – Now with even more flavor!
ISIS-K-Pop – Basically the same as regular K-pop
ISIS Prime – All terror attacks are guaranteed within two days
Apple iSis – Costs 5 times as much as normal ISIS but with less functionality
ISIS Kids Bop – Explicit phrases like “death to America” are replaced with fun, kid-friendly alternatives like “puppies to America”
ISIS: Game of the Year Edition with all DLC – Plus the season pass to ISIS
ISIS-K-Mart – Sadly this one is already out of business
ISIS-Relient-K – Kind of like ISIS-MXPX but not as good
ISIS Oops! All Berries – The factory worker who accidentally put in all berries got his hand chopped off, of course
ISISGBTQ – The “log cabin” variant of ISIS essentially
ISIS: The all-female reboot – Much more inclusive!
What’s your favorite? Let us know in the comments. Unless you’re poor. Then you can’t see the comments and we don’t care what you think.
Jesus Christ is King
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