You’ve heard of ISIS-K, the superspreader variant of ISIS that recently formed. But have you heard of these 17 even deadlier variants of the terrorist group?
ISIS-Pre-K – For terrorists ages 3-5
ISIS+ – Available for the low monthly subscription fee of $4.99
Flamin’ Hot ISIS – Now with even more flavor!
ISIS-K-Pop – Basically the same as regular K-pop
ISIS Prime – All terror attacks are guaranteed within two days
Apple iSis – Costs 5 times as much as normal ISIS but with less functionality
ISIS Kids Bop – Explicit phrases like “death to America” are replaced with fun, kid-friendly alternatives like “puppies to America”
ISIS: Game of the Year Edition with all DLC – Plus the season pass to ISIS
ISIS-K-Mart – Sadly this one is already out of business
ISIS-Relient-K – Kind of like ISIS-MXPX but not as good
ISIS Oops! All Berries – The factory worker who accidentally put in all berries got his hand chopped off, of course
ISISGBTQ – The “log cabin” variant of ISIS essentially
ISIS: The all-female reboot – Much more inclusive!
What’s your favorite? Let us know in the comments. Unless you’re poor. Then you can’t see the comments and we don’t care what you think.
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