Oh Shit! The same people in charge of our COVID response are in charge of our Climate Change response

MONTRÉAL – People across Canada are slowly realizing that the people responsible for the handling of the COVID-19 pandemic are also the same people responsible for handling our response to the growing Climate Change crisis. The general response to this idea has been: Oh shit!

“I think Canadians are generally pleased with our COVID response and trust us to do the same for the environment,” said a deluded PM Trudeau at a ground-breaking ceremony for the Trans Mountain Pipeline.

The pandemic has been a nightmare scenario on a scale that gives death itself pause. Canadians have seen an institutional inability to coordinate on a national level and a regional patchwork implementation of measures that many liken to watching a group of 5 year olds playing soccer – not realising it’s a team sport and ineffectively kicking at the air where the ball used to be.

With premiers across Canada having varying tactics for dealing with COVID from total lockdown to inviting citizens to walk themselves into an incinerator, Canadians can be forgiven for hoping for more from their political leaders.

“We all agree that Climate Change is a serious problem that the other provinces and nations will need to address,” said nearly all of the provincial premiers in a joint statement. The only holdouts were Quebec and Alberta who separately issued identical statements that read, “We don’t like to agree with anyone else on principle.”

The COVID crisis has taught us so many lessons that will need to be applied to our Climate Change response. When our very existence is at stake, people need to rally together, think long-term, follow expert advice and act in the interest of the common good despite the total rewriting of societal norms.

… Fuck.

Beaverton