Rogers beset by power struggle between guy who will raise your phone bill and guy who will raise your phone bill

TORONTO – Rogers Communications has been gripped by a power struggle that analysts have compared to the TV show Succession, in that everyone involved would spit on your corpse if there was profit involved.

Edward S. Rogers III, the son of company founder Ted Rogers, was voted out of the role of company chairman after his attempt to replace CEO Joe Natale with the now departed CFO Tony Staffieri. Rogers’ and Staffieri’s vision for the company included continuing Ted’s legacy by raising your phone bill.

Rogers’ ouster was led by new chairman John A. MacDonald, one of five directors to vote for Rogers’ removal. MacDonald and Natale believe that Rogers Communications needs to move in a more forward-thinking direction, which largely involves raising your phone bill.

The drama comes at an awkward time for the company, as Rogers is attempting to merge with Shaw Communications. Both MacDonald and Edward Rogers have promised to see the move through in order to raise the phone bills of western Canadians.

Rogers has promised a corporate governance review so that the rise in your phone bill will be as transparent as possible. Meanwhile, sports fans are wondering how this drama will affect Rogers’ ownership of the Toronto Blue Jays, beyond the inevitable rise of ticket prices.

Edward Rogers, who remains a director and major shareholder, has vowed to regain control of the boardroom and punish the directors who removed him. His threat sets the stage for an ugly public battle between a multi-millionaire with a Roman numeral in his name and a multi-millionaire with the exact same name as our first Prime Minister, which is the kind of relatable news that Canadians love to see from their telecom oligarchy.

At press time, Telus and Bell were taking advantage of the chaos at Rogers by raising the phone bills of their customers.

Beaverton