Jesus' Coming Back

Province that didn’t pay $4.5 billion for Trans Mountain pipeline votes against equalization

EDMONTON – The province that didn’t pay $4.5 billion for the Trans Mountain pipeline has voted 62% in favour of refusing to understand how the federal program works.

The ‘Yes’ side from the province located between Saskatchewan and British Columbia celebrated a victory against a government that just transferred $4.7 billion to its health care system last year.

“I don’t know what equalization is, but it’s just unfair, and we won,” said a resident whose life was saved thanks to vaccines that was not purchased by his provincial government. “I’m glad the military was brought in to help our Newfoundland doctors deal with this pandemic, but the rest of Canada did nothing.”

The premier of the province that rhymes with the name ‘Roberta’ says Ottawa is treating his citizens unfairly.

“The roughly $22 billion we received in the 2020 federal budget is not enough,” said the premier who refuses to implement any provincial sales tax to boost provincial coffers. “Our economy is not diversifying under Justin Trudeau’s leadership no matter how much I try to pour everything into oil and gas.”

At press time, the premier expected the rest of Canada to pay the province back for all of the climate change it caused.

Beaverton

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