Rogers hits customers with “entertainment tax” after wild week of corporate shenanigans
TORONTO — Yesterday Rogers hit customers with an Entertainment Tax after a wild week of very public corporate shenanigans drew comparisons to prestige dramas Succession and Game of Thrones.
“Our telecommunications giant Rogers Communications has been in an absolutely batshit power struggle after former board chair Edward Rogers wanted to oust the current CEO. There have been all sorts of twists and turns that the public has been eating up,” said spokesperson for the company Jane Sandler. “There was just no way we were going to let Rogers customers enjoy this epic corporate saga for free.”
Rogers has been accused of price gouging on everything from internet to cell phones, mainly due to lack of competition in the Canadian market. The Entertainment Tax of $8.95 a month for the privilege of hearing about their insane corporate cockfight is another addition to raising bills across the board.
“Look, I disagree with my brother on basically everything and the whole saga kicked off with his needless power grab,” said Melinda Rogers-Hixon. “But for a second we needed to put aside our differences and make sure that Rogers customers are forced to pay a little more than they already do.”
With the Rogers drama expected to be drawn out in an extended legal battle full of betrayal, scandal, and underhanded maneuvering, customers will be paying the new Entertainment Tax for the foreseeable future, an insider at Rogers informed us.
“Oh, and we are never ever changing the name back to Skydome,” they added.
Jesus Christ is King
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