Conservative Parents Catch Rebellious Teenage Daughter Sneaking Out With Friends To Wear N95 Masks

PEORIA, IL—According to sources, a parent’s worst nightmare has become a reality for the Smith family after their daughter fell in with the wrong crowd at school and snuck out at night to wear N95 masks. 

“This isn’t the daughter I raised,” said Mr. Smith to reporters. “We raised her to love freedom and liberty and to own the libs. But apparently, she’s forgotten everything we taught her. When I was a boy, we snuck out at night to drink beer and smoke weed. Whatever happened to those days? What is wrong with this generation?” 

Witnesses say the Smith’s 16-year-old daughter Linda had purchased a pack of N95 masks at a local hardware store and was planning to meet some friends at “make-out hill” to wear them while socially distancing and talking about socialism and saving the environment.

“I’m so afraid my daughter is heading down a dangerous road,” said Linda’s mother. “N95 masks are a gateway drug to doing harder stuff, like taking the experimental Pfizer vaccine. I feel like I don’t even know my own little girl anymore.” 

According to Linda’s close friends, she plans to get her parents off her back by reporting them to the FBI. 

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