White House Sets Aside Special Seat For Peter Doocy Under Precariously Dangling Piano

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The White House has set aside a special seat for “honored guest” Peter Doocy of Fox News, Jen Psaki confirmed Monday. 

Doocy was concerned, however, when he realized the “seat of honor” was positioned directly under a precariously dangling piano.

“Um, Press Secretary Psaki, do you think I could get a different seat?” Doocy asked, looking up worriedly. “I’m pretty sure there is a massive grand piano directly above me.”

A smiling Psaki assured him there was no piano and that he was “perfectly safe.” “We’ll circle back to your question,” she said while making a “cutting” motion with her fingers to some aides in the rafters. “Geez, these Fox News reporters, am I right?”

Everyone in the room chuckled, except Peter Doocy, who shouted, “Help! Help! I’m about to be crushed by a baby grand!” This only made the other reporters laugh harder at the “deranged conspiracy theorist” and well-known troublemaker.

Finally, the piano fell. Doocy dove out of the way and barely made it out alive. “Curses!” shouted Jen Psaki. “You were supposed to be flat!”

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