VICTORIA, BC – In an effort to inspire future generations, local roommates Cam Newton (25) and Rusa Ayad (26) have tacitly decided to leave a drying rack of dishes on the counter for an indeterminate amount of time.
The impromptu countertop monument commemorates the celebrated events of November 8th, 2021 – the day Newton heroically decided to finally do the dishes.
“They’d just been piling up for like a few weeks,” explained the apartment champion whose deeds shall be forever memorialized through the now-dry stack of Ikea bowls and assorted Tupperware. “I’d promised to cook dinner for my girlfriend Christy, so I guess it was my turn to clean up anyway.”
“It really took a while, some of them had gotten pretty funky,” said the humble legend, who spent a reported 2 hours doing battle in the sink.
Witnesses can only guess what inspiration may come from this vaunted tower of mismatched coffee mugs generations hence. Perhaps our descendants will be inspired to tackle even the most daunting of challenges, seeing from this stack of dried dishes that victory is possible. They may look at the rickety tower and feel renewed kinship for the struggles of their fore-bearers.
One thing is for certain – the pile is not going anywhere.
“Look, I’m happy Cam did the dishes for once, But I needed to get a glass for water, but Cam packed everything in there so damn tight,” explained Ayad, suggesting that the dish stack represents an ironic cautionary tale. “We have all these clean dishes, but I can’t use them. Plus, most of them were mine anyway.”
“Ah well, I’ll just do Uber Eats again,” added Ayad, suggesting a new chapter in the generational dish saga.
At press time tragedy has struck as Newton attempted to slip out a glass, causing an avalanche which destroyed a significant portion of the monument.
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.