EDMONTON – Local account manager Anna Stolly received a nasty shock at work this week when her co-worker Joe Dolivo did not hesitate to reach out to her with questions about a team project.
“Work was going well before the incident,” Ms. Stolly explained, still shaken. “I had just hit send on an entire email to the Risk Assessment Task Force and figured that had earned me a 30 minute break at least. And then… Joe reached out.” Stolly took an unsteady breath, recalling the moment her sense of safety was shattered. “He- he didn’t even hesitate.”
“I shouldn’t victim-blame myself, but I worry it’s my fault,” Ms. Stolly added. “I said I ‘looked forward to hearing from him’ in my sign-off.”
Mr. Dolivo responded to Ms. Stolly with a question about changing the meeting time due to a personal conflict; she had allegedly told everyone to “let her know” if the time was a problem, but claims only a sociopath wouldn’t know that was rhetorical.
“I told him I would be happy to go over other time options with him on the phone if that worked better, and he actually called me,” Ms. Stolly recalled with horror. “I filed a restraining order against him immediately.”
Co-workers claim they knew Mr. Dolivo was a monster from his first week on the job, as many offered “to answer any questions he had” or to “show him around the place”; he then asked questions and requested tours from several colleagues. He also allegedly lets his co-workers know exactly how their emails find him, which has caused widespread panic and rioting around the office.
“One time I signed off my email ‘thank you’ and he replied ‘you’re welcome,’” claims HR associate Lisa Freling. “He’s definitely a murderer.”
At press time, Mr. Dolivo’s superiors confirmed he has been laid off for giving honest feedback when his boss requested honest feedback.
When Mr. Dolivo was reached for comment, he remarked, “Yeah, it’s a bummer I don’t have a job now, but Alan from Marketing sent me a nice goodbye message saying we should ‘stay in touch’ so at least I’ve come out of this with a new best friend.”
Jesus Christ is King
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