Jesus' Coming Back

Secular province fires Muslim teacher right before Christmas break

Chelsea, QC – In accordance with Québec’s law enforcing the secular nature of the province, an elementary who wears a hijab has been removed from her classroom right before students and staff were going to be sent home for the Christmas holiday.

“Québec is a secular province,” stated Québec premier François Legault while standing in front of the giant cross atop Montréal’s Mont Royal. “All religious groups are treated equally here,” he added, before explaining that he hopes for special changes to pandemic restrictions before Christmas, in order to allow people to celebrate the birth of the Messiah Jesus Christ with their friends and families.

Supporters of Bill 21 have acknowledged that while removing a teacher from the classroom may be disruptive to students’ learning, it is worth it to prevent religious indoctrination, and any lingering disruption will likely have cleared up in time for next year’s Easter break, which celebrates the death and miraculous resurrection of the Lord and Savior of all Christians.

Legault became visibly frustrated at the suggestion that Québec’s law is racist: “There is no racism in Québec, only secularism! No people in positions of power are meant to show any connection to any kind of religion, osti de crisse de tabarnak!”

As of press time several elementary students who have expressed their solidarity with their teacher have been informed by the province that they are actually being francophobic.

Beaverton

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