Jesus' Coming Back

Biden Says Corn Pop’s Death Was More Impactful Than MLK’s

U.S.—Americans are reacting to newly unearthed statements Biden made during his presidential campaign, in which he claimed that Corn Pop’s death was more impactful for the cause of justice than MLK’s. 

“Listen folks, no joke. I ain’t kiddin’ around here. For real. I know what I’m talking about. Listen carefully. I’ll say this once. No joke,” Biden began. “As I stood over the body of the infamous gangster Corn Pop after wrapping a chain around his head, I knew his death would have a much greater far-reaching impact than even the death of MLK. Corn Pop was a bad dude, but his death launched my path to the presidency. If I hadn’t become president, the blacks would be back in chains. And a bunch of other blacks would be white due to voting for Trump. He died for a good cause!”

Civil rights leaders have tried to distance themselves from Biden in light of his remarks, at least until his remarks are no longer a part of the news cycle, at which point they will no longer distance themselves. 

“We are disappointed with Biden’s remarks,” said Jesse Jackson, “but we will overlook them since he’s a Democrat and continue to support him until he says something weird or racist again.” 

Later that day, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi offered a prayer to Corn Pop to thank him for dying for the cause of justice. 


Chris Smitherson has a problem: he’s unvaccinated — which means he’s left out of all activities as he doesn’t have COVID like his vaccinated friends. Thoughts and prayers.


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