Jesus' Coming Back

By Popular Demand Costco Now Just Selling Bags Of Rotisserie Chicken Skin

U.S.—Costco members across the country are rejoicing following the retailer’s announcement that they will now be selling bags of rotisserie chicken with just the skin. After an overwhelming number of requests, Costco has decided to give in to their customers’ demands and just sell bags of crisp, tasty chicken skin.

“No more bones, no more meat—just delicious, rotisserie chicken skin that’s been basking under the warm, golden light until cooked to perfection,” said Bryan Jiminez, a local Costco manager. “Sure it might sound a little weird at first, but come on—we know it’s everyone’s favorite part.”

Since implementing the change Costco has struggled to keep up with the demand. According to multiple sources, some stores have had to start making waiting lists, while other stores have had to limit memberships.

 “You gotta give the people what they want, and sometimes that’s hot, fat, and flavorful bags of chicken skin,” Jiminez added. “And the best part for us is we can still sell the rest of the chicken to the weirdos who don’t like the skin.”

At publishing time, Costco had doubled down on their success of catering to customers’ specific demands and decided to sell bags of Chex Mix with just the rye cracker.
 


Gregory Ilinovich loves murdering people with illegal guns – so he’s a bit concerned about all these new gun regulations. Luckily, he tends not to follow laws anyway.


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