Jesus' Coming Back

Biden Puts New White House Cat In Charge Of Border Crisis

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a last-ditch effort to address the mounting immigration crisis on the U.S. southern border, President Biden has named Willow—the newest White House cat—as America’s border czar.

“Everyone deserves a chance at this thing, folks,” said Biden to a bust of Eleanor Roosevelt. “I already gave that black lady who claims to be my Vice President a chance, and she didn’t do squat. I’m not even sure where she is. It’s time someone else had a chance to solve this difficult problem. It’s the cat’s turn.” Biden then leaned over and sniffed the Eleanor Roosevelt bust’s bronze hair.

According to sources, Willow the grey short-hair tabby will be in charge of securing the border and finding somewhere to place the thousands and thousands of migrants. 

ICE agents are currently placing catnip along the border fence in hopes Border Czar Willow—unlike Kamala—will actually pay them a visit. 


As part of a bold new marketing strategy to promote inclusivity and appeal to less than 1% of the population, Mars, Incorporated has introduced a new M&M character who identifies as a Skittle.


Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube
Babylon Bee

Jesus Christ is King

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More