Jesus' Coming Back

Freedom convoy compares selves to Terry Fox, who famously crossed Canada to protest life saving medicine

– Protestors and organizers of what is being called the “Freedom ” by participants, say they are carrying on the legacy of legendary Canadian activist , who they say is renowned for running across Canada to life-saving medical treatment.

“It is his spirit that we are channeling here,” said one large donor to the convoy, who goes by the name JordanPetersonStanMan on GoFundMe. “Like Terry, we are setting ourselves an immense physical challenge, remaining seated across thousands of miles, to inspire Canadians to rebel against the undemocratic forces of doctors, nurses, and other nerds. Just like Terry did in 1980.”

Some protestors said they were there when Fox dipped his foot into the Atlantic Ocean, and took his first strides in his inspirational cross-country run to raise funds against the polio vaccine.

Freedom convoy participants say their inspiration from Fox doesn’t just end there.

“We are demanding that the Governor General form a dictatorship to get rid of all vaccine mandates,” said another organizer, recalling when Fox arrived in Ottawa during his Marathon of Rage, and waved a swastika on Parliament Hill, demanding the Queen dissolve Parliament and impose martial law to rid the country of chemotherapy.

“It’s sad. I know he’d be with us if he was here today,” said convoy member Martin Stevens.

“I’ll never forget when I was a kid and he ran through our town. I was on my dad’s shoulders, and I’ll always remember how inspiring it was to see him run up to that reporter in his confederate flag shirt, scream that he would hang them, then threaten to doxx our local MP from on top of the cenotaph.”

The convoy has received condemnation from most of Canada’s political parties, with the exception of the Conservatives.

“It is important that we be here, to bring Canadians together and show them that they are being listened to,” said Conservative finance critic Pierre Poilievre. “After all, it’s what anti-woke activist Leonard Cohen would have wanted.”

Beaverton

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