Health Experts Warn Of Thousands Of Joe Rogan-Style Uncensored Conversations Increasingly Happening Between Everyday People

U.S.—Health experts are sounding the alarm over thousands and thousands of uncensored Joe Rogan-style conversations happening between millions of private citizens across the nation. Public health officials warn that if these conversations are not stopped, they may be powerless to halt the spread of opinions they don’t agree with. 

“Joe Rogan is just the tip of the iceberg,” said Dr. Fredricka Boogflarp, an expert on misinformation from Harvard. “Every day around the country and around the world, people are having private conversations that contain dangerous misinformation, and there is no one there to correct it or put a stop to it. This is an existential threat to democracy and public health! THE PEOPLE MUST BE SILENCED!” Dr. Boogflarp then lifted her head and screamed at the sky. 

Studies estimate that there are approximately 300-500 million conversations containing misinformation conducted every day in the U.S. alone. Experts have put forward potential solutions to this very serious problem, such as secret recording equipment, secret police, and just imprisoning everyone in gulags so they can’t talk to each other without approval anymore. 

“If it weren’t for humans, maybe we’d finally be able to usher in our healthy and scientific utopia,” said Boogflarp before screaming at the sky once again. 

As part of a bold new marketing strategy to promote inclusivity and appeal to less than 1% of the population, Mars, Incorporated has introduced a new M&M character who identifies as a Skittle.

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube
Babylon Bee