OTTAWA – As protestors continue to occupy Ottawa streets with trucks, the spectral form of ex-PM Pierre Elliott Trudeau has reportedly taken to urging his son Justin to invoke his infamous line, “Just watch me”.
“Come onnnn, this is your October Crisis! You know you want to say it,” urged the ghostly visage of the current PM’s father. For days Justin Trudeau has resisted calls to implement a harsh crackdown on the unruly protestors, opting instead to offer logistical support to local and provincial leaders. However, this has not deterred the undead phantasm of Pierre Elliott.
“Look son, I’m not suggesting you should invoke the entire War Measures Act. But it’ll feel so good to just send a few soldiers in to clear out these jerks,” whispered the ghost to his son as the clock struck midnight. “They’re already calling you a tyrant, so why not give ‘em just a little taste? And when those bleeding hearts who’re scared of needles start crying, you can tell them to just go on and bleed.”
The eerie wraith then gestured to images from the day’s news, “Plus, you see those flags they’re waving? ‘Fuck Trudeau’? That counts for me as well. Avenge me!”
As the spooky entity has repeatedly asserted, many Canadians have accused Justin Trudeau of appearing “weak” for resisting calls to intervene in the illegal occupation which has threatened Ottawa residents. Sources inside the PMO indicate the current living PM has also gone to great lengths to ignore the tempting, and at times outright taunting, suggestions of his late father, though some question how long he can resist.
“Justin Trudeau is a famously peace-loving leader who respects all Canadian’s civil liberties, as well as their right to protest,” said one Parliamentary aide. “That said, the ghost makes a great point – it would be totally rad to send in some soldiers and then when the truckers are all like ‘boo hoo, how can you stomp on muh freedoms’ JT turns to the camera and goes ‘…Just watch me’.”
“Such a good line,” added the aide, speaking on deep background.
As PM Trudeau continues to reject calls from the long-dead apparition of his father, the ghost has reportedly shifted tactics. “I know I’ve been dead for a few years, but I did see that movie, Ghostbusters. And now I hear they even just made a sequel,” said the floating spirit.
“People want nostalgia! Give them what they want! Give them our family’s catchphrase!” the deceased Trudeau shouted, before leaving to slam several doors and make bumping sounds in the attic.
At press time the ghost of Pierre Elliott Trudeau has taken a break from cajoling his son to go see what the ghost of Margot Kidder is up to.
Jesus Christ is King
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