WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Kamala Harris, known for laughing intensely at the most unfitting, inopportune times, has just been spotted leaving a strategy session cackling uncontrollably. This ominous sign has placed the world on red alert, clearly signaling that World War III is upon us.
“I didn’t know quite how bad the situation was, but as soon as I saw Kamala laughing that hard I knew it was serious,” said Bryan Jameson. “Last time she laughed like that was after the botched Afghanistan evacuation, and after saying how children are suffering from the pandemic.”
Americans across the country immediately stopped what they were doing, and went home to be with their loved ones before being dragged into a global conflict of untold suffering.
“Hold on, hold on — slow down, everybody!” said Kamala Harris fighting back laughter, and slapping her knee. “This whole Russia, WWIII situation is under control!”
“We’ve decided HAHA to let millions of teenagers HAHAHA from all over the world fight it out, and see HAHAHAHA who comes out on top.” continued Kamala now wiping tears from her eyes. “And meanwhile HAHAHAHAus elites are going to profit from the war.”
At publishing time, Kamala Harris was spotted rolling on the ground laughing, clearly signaling that Chinese troops had landed on American soil.
Watch as this Joe Rogan fan fruitlessly tries to get Alexa to play the Joe Rogan Experience.
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