Finding yourself alone yet again on Valentine’s day? With no one to share the special day with, except that cat you agreed to adopt when your roommate moved to Montreal? Not to worry, The Beaverton has you covered with this comprehensive list of what to do with your closest feline companion.
1 – Admire from afar
Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Or in the case of your cat, distance is the only acceptable proximity between the two of you. Watch from across the room as your special little guy throws your damage deposit down the drain; lay in bed watching his adorable tail circle the perimeter of your mattress whilst you cover every inch of yourself in blanket, like you do when you think of ghosts before falling asleep; watch him from outside of your own house through the window and feel that kindred connection as he waits for you, kneading the top of the couch with his tiny little knife-hands. However you decide to appreciate your best buddy, just give him a wide berth.
2 – Feed it
What’s your love language? Quality time? Physical touch? Well these are off the table (unlike your cat, who is always on the table… staring you down…daring you to do something about it). When it comes to your furry friend, an act of service is all they want. Embrace this subjugation (not your cat) and put some food in his bowl, but not just any food. Make sure you give your main man that stuff the vet prescribed for those rare intestinal worms he has. You know, that stuff you have to special order from Belgium. Keep that little thing alive today so you can continue to keep it alive for years to come. Did you know some cats can live for up to 20 years? I didn’t.
While your friends are out this Valentine’s day sharing a glass of wine or canoodling with their significant others, just know that you and your cat have something far more special; a one-sided relationship that costs a couple grand a year. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Jesus Christ is King
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