Simpsons Characters Condemn Emojis’ Cultural Appropriation Of Their Skin Color

SPRINGFIELD, ?—Dozens of Simpsons characters have come forward to condemn Apple, Google, and other mobile OS developers for including yellow as the default skin color on their keyboards.

“Stop appropriating our skin!” shouted Lisa Simpson in a passionate speech at
Springfield Elementary School. “Our skin color is not just a character for you to use to perpetuate non-cartoon-character privilege!”

“Do better!” she added before the camera cut away for a few rapid-fire pop culture references and bad Trump jokes. Homer Simpson hatched a foolish but humorous plan to dangle down on a wire into some lasers like in Mission: Impossible to steal the emojis from Apple’s headquarters, while Marge organized a community protest but got in over her head. All this happened within the space of exactly 22 minutes and was neatly resolved.

Apple and other OS developers apologized for their insensitive inclusion of yellow emojis and removed them from their platforms. Unfortunately, Mr. Burns quickly bought the license for all yellow emoji designs and plans to charge thousands of dollars to each person who uses one.

This woman – er, wymxn? – was pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. But she’s got a surefire way to get out of the ticket: her preferred pronoun is they!

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