Deranged Sociopaths Show Up On Time Instead Of 10 Minutes Late Like Normal Human Beings

COLUMBUS, IN—According to sources close to the Maclean family, the couple showed up to a hang-out/dinner/maybe-board-games-if-things-get-wild event right on time, instead of ten minutes late like normal human beings.

“Who the heck is that?” a confused Bridget Werner asked her husband Ted as the doorbell rang at 5:00 on the dot. “It can’t be… no… they wouldn’t…”

She peaked out through the blinds, and sure enough, to her horror, the Macleans were right outside the door, smiling and ready to party.

“What’s wrong with these people?” Ted muttered. “I’m not even wearing pants yet. Honey, have you seen my pants?”

“Upstairs, three paces to the right of the landing, hanging from the cupboard door handle,” she muttered absentmindedly. 

She opened the door and greeted the insane psychopaths who showed up to the event on time. “Heee-eeeey!” she said. The absolute basket cases then both gave her a full-body hug despite her clearly reaching out for a handshake.

At publishing time, the total psychos had lugged in a selection of over twelve board games to pick from, each of which takes around three hours to play.

This woman – er, wymxn? – was pulled over for driving alone in the carpool lane. But she’s got a surefire way to get out of the ticket: her preferred pronoun is they!

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