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UGH. Parents are just the worst.
No cap, right, fam?
Your parents could even be systemically oppressing you, the most oppressed and miserable person on planet earth. Look out for these ten warning signs that your parents are literally Hitler:
1. They limit your screen time to just 7 hours a day. – UGH GOSH!
2. They make you wear your nice hoodie to church. – MOOOOOM!!!
3. At least one of them is a Christian male. – A sure sign of patriarchal oppression.
4. They won’t let you listen to songs about murder, rape, and drug use. – BUT ALL THE OTHER KIDS ARE DOING IT!!!
5. They won’t pay $29.99 for the limited edition Fortnite Captain Marvel skin. – What are you supposed to do, play Fortnite with a free skin like some kind of peasant?!
6. They want to spend time with you. – They obviously HATE you.
7. They don’t give you a portable device with unlimited access to porn. – Literally robbing you of joy and happiness and a crippling addiction for the rest of your life WORST PARENTS EVER GOSH 😡😡😡
8. They ask how your day was. – YOU ALREADY TOLD THEM IT WAS FINE!!!
9. They make you shower weekly. – Talk about OVERBEARING!
10. They pray for you and want the best for you and would literally die for you. – MUH OPPRESSIONZZZZZZZ 😡😡😡
NOT SATIRE: Dad Saves America is a new YouTube channel dedicated to promoting the critical role fathers play in their children’s lives, and therefore the future of our country.
We’re on a mission to celebrate, empower, and entertain Dads, could-be Dads, and father-figures of all stripes. We deliver powerful stories, exclusive interviews, mini-documentaries, and deep dives on a weekly basis to inform and inspire as we build a movement of dads who embrace their heroic calling.
Dads need their own superhero league to take on the challenges of today.
Thank you,
John Pappola
CEO
Dad Saves America
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