George Takei’s Valet’s Poolboy’s Uber Driver Informs Him That Gas Prices Are Up

LOS ANGELES—Former Star Trek actor and prominent “gaysian” George Takei was informed by his valet’s poolboy’s Uber driver that gas prices are up. After it was explained to him what gas was, Takei reportedly took to Twitter to calm the Internet with a message of solidarity for the Ukrainian people.

“I know gas is high but we can weather this storm together,” Takei tweeted. “We can afford a few extra bucks if it means Putin takes over Ukraine a little slower.”

According to sources, George Takei was assaulted with negative comments that claimed he was out of touch and couldn’t empathize with lower and middle-class Americans, but Takei is pretty sure all negative replies are from Russian bots.

“Russia is at war with America! Join me on the Twitter front as I push back against these Russian bots! #UkraineStrongBotsWrong,” he tweeted in response to negative feedback.

To date, he has forged an alliance with @Alyssa_Milano and @pattonoswalt to fight back against what they call misinformation perpetuated by poor people.

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