Jesus' Coming Back

“It’s just not the same when we can’t terrorize residents,” says Freedom Convoy Protestor on return to Parliament Hill

– As protestors returned to Ottawa this weekend without their trucks, BBQs and hot tubs, many expressed their disappointment at having to just do a “regular ” that didn’t allow them to harass and annoy local residents for weeks on end.

“I mean, it’s great to see everyone I spent three weeks playing a never-ending game of honk tag with,” said protestor Miriam Axford. “But the vibe just feels… off. Like there’s no energy for some reason.”

“Maybe it’s not knowing that we’re making the lives of everyone around us worse. Or maybe it’s the lack of a DJ.”

Axford was just one of many returning Convoy protestors who felt that it was unfair for the government to require them to express their opinions without shutting down multiple city blocks or having a bunch of trucks that go vroom vroom all day long.

“We have to use only our voices to make our voice heard? What are we? Some common ‘save ’ protestors?” said David Murphy.

However the group promised they wouldn’t let the lack of weaponized noise violations deter them from their goals. They plan to return in ever dwindling numbers every weekend until Trudeau either gives into their demands or their tiny presence becomes even more comical.

Beaverton

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