We recently spoke to Kamala Harris, and she agreed to explain complex concepts to our readers. Now, you can learn about everything from Bitcoin to Batman in terms even you can understand. Thanks, Kam—
KAMALA: I’m SPEAKING.
Oh. Sorry, Madame Vice President. Anyway, here are her explanations:
Water: Water is wet. It is not dry. We call water from the sky “rain”. You can drink it.
Traffic lights: Green means go. Red means stop. Yellow is kind of a gray area. The skinny man in the light pole changes the signal. He is probably racist.
Speaking: I’m speaking. Okay, I’m speaking. Excuse me. Excuse me. I’m speaking.
Interstellar: The man goes to space. He flies in a black hole. He cries. And there was time travel or something?
Gravity: Things fall down, not up. The earth pulls things down, including black people. Earth is racist.
Bitcoin: It is money. But it is not real. It is in the clouds I think. Basically, it’s magic.
Refugees: Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [descends into bone-chilling cackle]
Batman: He is 100% bat. He is also 100% man. He is the Batman. This is called the hypobatic union. Batman starts with a “B”.
NFTs: They are pictures. You buy them with magic money. You can right-click and download them but that is theft and I will throw you in jail. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Neurotransmitters: An excitatory transmitter promotes the generation of an electrical signal called an action potential in the receiving neuron, while an inhibitory transmitter prevents it. Whether a neurotransmitter is excitatory or inhibitory depends on the receptor it binds to. Neurotransmitters are racist.
Wordle: The green is good. The yellow is sort of good. The dark squares are bad. Which is racist.
Thanks, Kamala! We’ve learned so much. Keep following The Babylon Bee for more editions of Kamala Exp—
KAMALA: I. AM. SPEAKING.
How did you even get in here?
In this new commercial from the U.S. Army, everyone’s favorite branch of the military promotes their new, more diverse, more inclusive standards. From gender reveal grenades to more affirming drill sergeants, the Army is leading the way in inclusion!
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