Jesus' Coming Back

Seneca College unveils slogan “Seneca: The Harvard of Eastern Finch/Don Mills”

EASTERN FINCH/DON MILLS – Seneca College has undergone a rebrand, and is now calling itself “The Harvard of Eastern Finch/Don Mills.”

“It’s time to toot our own horn a little,” said Seneca president David Agnew. “If you look at the area of Toronto two kilometers or less from our main campus, I think you can safely say we are the most prestigious academic institution. So, yes, we are the Harvard of this area.”

Despite the fact that Seneca has only 55 years of history compared to Harvard’s 386, and that 161 Nobel Prize winners went to Harvard compared to Seneca College’s 0, Agnew believes the comparison is apt.

“We’re not saying that we are an academic institution on the same level as Harvard,” explained Agnew. “But just like Harvard is not technically in Boston, we are not technically in the interesting part of Toronto. Harvard can boast alumni like Conan O’Brien, and we can boast alumni like Mitch O’Brien. Who you may not have heard of, but he can make you chuckle a bit.”

Second-year Seneca student Candace Butterworth points out that, “When you consider this entire stretch of Finch Avenue, we really dominate all competition. That doesn’t include east of the DVP, though, that’s running into Centennial College’s sphere of influence, and let’s be honest, they just blow us out of the water.”

Local residents were quick to make suggestions as to which institution would be the ‘Yale’ of the Eastern Finch/Don Mills area. Suggestions included the Toronto Business College, and the Gordon Baker Campus of Centennial College (now defunct)

When it was suggested to Agnew that people at the actual Harvard might laugh at Seneca’s bold claim, Agnew said “Well, we do have one clear advantage over the ‘actual’ Harvard. None of our Presidents have ever owned slaves.”

Beaverton

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