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To Honor Nation’s Women In The Workforce, 100 Grand To Be Renamed 77 Grand

LUXEMBOURG—To honor women, The Ferrero Group has repackaged the popular candy bar 100 Grand® as 77 Grand® to account for women making only 77 cents on the dollar. The limited-edition candy bar will also cost twice as much and be 23% smaller.

“We want to highlight the inequality working women face every day by shipping an inferior product we didn’t pay them enough to develop,” said Ferrero CEO Adolf Nutella. “When customers bite into a 77 Grand we want them to think about how inferior it is compared to our classic 100 Grand bar.”

Critics of the 77 Grand® candy bar have mocked The Ferrero Group for engaging in virtue signaling on an international scale instead of honoring their workers with equitable pay rates. A statement released by The Ferrero Group’s PR department explained the suggestion away as an impossibility.

“We at The Ferrero Group love menstruating persons of unspecified gender,” the statement read. “Unfortunately, no one at our company has seen fit to disclose their identity to receive a raise.  Please enjoy the complimentary candy bar attached to this letter.”

According to sources, 77 Grand® is most popular with virtue-signaling men who wish to express solidarity with women so they can get a date.


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