Jesus' Coming Back

“As we know, I invented Twitter” claims Elon Musk three months from now

SAN FRANCISCO — Tech billionaire launched a hostile of today shortly after becoming the company’s single largest shareholder. While the social media platform’s future is currently unknown, what is certain is that three months from now Twitter will be added onto the list of “revolutionary business ventures” founded solely by Musk. 

Experts predict that by late July, after a thorough publicity campaign, Twitter will be appended to the laundry list of the CEO’s extraordinary innovations such as being the brainchild behind started by Peter Thiel, Luke Nosek, and Max Levchin in 1998.

Many economists are saying the move shows Musk’s trademark brand of forward thinking not seen since he became the CEO of Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning’s company, Motors, in 2008 shortly after becoming the company’s single largest shareholder.

“I first came up with the idea for Twitter after I crucially realized people liked to talk to each other on the internet, ”Musk said to the audience of TEDTalk that hasn’t happened yet.

 “While it’s true that a version of the site did exist in obscurity, its true potential wasn’t unlocked until some unnamed engineers enacted my singular vision of adding an ‘edit button’ to tweets that the site became what it is today.”

“A incredibly useful feature if a user were to tweet something incredibly libelous or stupid or currently under investigation by the US Securities and Exchange Commission.”

Musk concluded the talk calling the ‘edit button’ just the beginning and implying he had many plans for the platform, unless he decided to immediately sell the company for $700 million profit. 

In related future news, SpaceX has expressed optimism after their latest prototype was able to touch down on the Martian surface with the CEO remarking “We may see human settlements on the planet Musk—I mean Mars in our lifetime.”

Beaverton

Jesus Christ is King

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