Jesus' Coming Back

Beer that tastes like sweat wins brewing award

FREDERICTON — New Brunswick microbrewery Weasel Belly Ales has won the 2022 Liquid Innovation Prize for developing a new style of beer that experts say tastes like sweat.

The winning brew, a pale lager called Locker Room Carpet, was unanimously selected by a panel of judges from the International Beverage Consortium in Brussels.

“We are truly astounded by how much this beer tastes like it was wrung out of a soiled yoga mat,” wrote the IBC in a press release. “Every sip is like licking an armpit. It’s a masterpiece.”

According to Weasel Belly head brewer Toby Dworkin, the idea for Locker Room Carpet came from a desire to break away from the current industry trend of making beer that actually tastes good.

“Most breweries are cranking out New England IPAs that taste like juice, pastry stouts that taste like cupcakes and smoothie sours that are literally just piña coladas. They’re all so easy to drink,” said Dworkin. “Our goal was to do the opposite, to make something challenging, that even the most diehard beer lovers would struggle to choke down.”

For inspiration, the Weasel Belly team turned to ancient fermentation techniques used in the mid 14th century.

“We wanted to tap into the deep, lost knowledge of medieval brewing masters, many of whom died of liver failure before the age of 30,” said Dworkin.

After months of trial and error, they landed on a recipe they knew was “the one,” and the global beer community agrees — Locker Room Carpet currently has a 4.83 rating on Untappd, a popular social media app for alcoholics.

“Winning this award is a dream come true,” said Dowrkin. “We’ve officially put Fredericton on the map as the best city in the world for beer that tastes like bodily fluids.”

Not willing to rest on its laurels, Weasel Belly has already followed up the celebrated sweat lager with two other excretion-based offerings: a urine-bock and a pus porter. Three-packs are available exclusively at the brewery’s bottleshop for $63.

Beaverton

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