Jesus' Coming Back

Update: Men Allowed To Have Opinions On Abortion Now That Men Can Get Pregnant

U.S.—Progressives have announced that men can, in fact, get pregnant, opening the door for men to have opinions on abortion as well. Across the country, men for the first time ever are now experiencing what it’s like to be able to form their own thoughts on abortion.

“Women used to tell me ‘I’ll listen to your opinion on abortion when you can actually have a baby’ well do I have news for them!” said Neil Hitchens, pro-life activist. “Now that men can get pregnant and my opinion is suddenly credible, I can finally debate people who believe murdering the unborn is okay.”

“Yesterday, when I pointed out that ‘My Body, My Choice’ doesn’t consider the body or the choice of the baby I was ridiculed as backward thinking and anti-science, but today my opinion is worthy of consideration.” Hitchens continued. “Now I’m crushing every debate and all this thanks to woke companies like Apple for insisting that men are capable of getting pregnant too. Way to go, Apple!”

Many pro-abortion activists have tried to pivot to say your opinion on abortion is only relevant if you have a uterus, but they have been called out for their sexism and bigotry for trying to reduce womanhood down to anatomy.

At publishing time, men were just finding out other things they are now allowed to have opinions on such as makeup, periods, and breastfeeding in public.


Mandy is absolutely triggered by Twitter’s possible takeover by Elon Musk. She attends a Twitter-sponsored therapy session to help her cope.


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