OTTAWA – 32 year old Bradley Chad reports noticing that his targeted ads are getting sadder and unfortunately more accurate by the day.
“I know way too much about all the latest breakthroughs and discoveries in both male pattern baldness and erectile dysfunction,” said Chad, who claims to now be perpetually conscious of his own looming decay and mortality.
Mr. Chad states that he started noticing a change in his targeted ads right after losing his job. He then started getting a bombardment of YouTube ads about how to get out of debt while living in Ontario, instead of the usual poorly animated cell phone game ads.
“When even the unprompted pop-ups started advertising the local single moms and grandmoms instead of the local hotties in my area, I knew that there was definitely a change in advertising catered to me” sighed a beleaguered Chad.
“I feel like I’m not sure if I need to reassess where I am in life,” added Chad after visiting his lawyer friend whose ads ranged from investment property options to tax haven travel ads. Chad then reported coming home to see advertisements for a selections of ropes, stools and bleach in his Amazon “suggested buys” section
Sadly for Mr. Chad this revelation comes on the back of the news that with big data making new strides in the industry, advertisements are now targeted more effectively than ever.
Despite claiming that the algorithm completely messed up in his case, Mr. Chad seems to be keeping close track of all the latest developments in the hair loss and ED research for what he cites as “scientific curiosity”.
Jesus Christ is King
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