Jesus' Coming Back

Amid rising gas prices, Flintstone cars top sales

, ON — Flinstone cars, officially known as Cavemobiles, top car sales in Canada amid rising prices as Canadians try to cut costs wherever they can.

With well above 170 cents/litre, Canadians are ditching their gas guzzling compact sedans for prehistoric foot-powered alternatives. Canada has seen a dip in both domestic and foreign gasoline car sales.

“I had to sell my Toyota Prius,” said Ottawan Elvis Martinez. “I was paying way too much at the pump every week, but now I don’t have to pay a drop for my Cavemobile Bugasaurus. Sure, my feet are badly calloused, but I’ll get used to this new way of driving… I hope. With the money I’m saving, I’m hoping to have my bachelor party in Rock Vegas later this year.”

The four-seater Bugasaurus sedan has been the model of choice for consumers simply looking for a “point A to point B” vehicle, with its highly fuel-efficient rating of 1.2 km/layer of skin in the city, and 0.8 km/layer of skin on the highway. Those looking for an eye catcher and with the Clams to spend are going down the route of the Rockerrari supercar. With its 0 to 60 time of 1 minute, you’ll definitely notice the Rockerrari speeding down the street.

The time it takes to turn your feet into a running whirlwind in the Rockerrari is also best in its class.

The most popular model among Canadians by far, however, has been the family-friendly Canopysaurus minivan, as it accommodates larger families and sports extra cargo space to stow groceries, sports equipment, and wooden clubs.

“Things have been extra difficult in this economy as a mother of four,” said Andrea Luo. “Even with my husband working overtime as a Bronto-Crane operator, finances have been tough. That’s why we decided to buy our Canopysaurus, and we haven’t looked back. Sure, we’re often late to our kids’ basketball practice and art classes because we can’t crack 40 km/h on a flat road, but at least we’re saving a ton on gas. Besides, going downhill we can’t go below 80 km/h without breaking both ankles, so we save some time there.”

Some Canadians are getting creative with their vehicle alternatives. A growing trend on social media has been people creating their own Cavemobiles from scratch, or converting their current vehicles into Cavemobiles.

TikTok user PrehistoricPapi (real name Gary Quan) is posting the process of converting his 2014 Honda Civic into a Cavemobile Bugasaurus on his TikTok page. His latest TikTok shows him carving out the floor of his Civic to create space for his feet.

“Why would I spend 10,000 Clams on a Bugasaurus when I can turn my old Civic into one?” says PrehistoricPapi in his first TikTok. “I’ve watched a lot of carpentry TikToks, so I’m ready for this project, and I’m excited for you all to follow along on this journey! Wait until you see my Warningsaurus backup camera that screams when you’re too close to the curb.”

In response to the surge in Cavemobile sales in Canada and the growing interest on social media platforms like TikTok, large automobile manufacturers GM, Toyota, and Honda are in the process of developing their own foot-powered vehicles to compete with Cavemobile.

Beaverton

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