WASHINGTON, DC – An international conglomerate of horndog scientists have made the news by posting hole on main.
“The hole we’ve discovered is dense and tight,” said Event Horizon Telescope spokesman Aiden Greaves. “We would let it suck us in any day.”
The desperate scientists, who are simping for a celestial body over 27,000 lightyears away from Earth, used a specialised array of radio telescopes to spy on the innocent and unknowing Sagittarius A*.
“Sagittarius A* is supermassive, which is just how we like it,” Greaves said, while covering his groin with a file folder. “Four million solar masses might be too much for some judgemental people to handle, but we think it’s big, beautiful, and ready for probing.”
The debauched weirdos at the EHT last got their rocks off in 2019, when they peeped on the gaping crack of M87* in a neighbouring galaxy. Emboldened by the lack of judgement they faced for their voyeurism, the pervs are now spying on a stellar object in our very own Milky Way.
“There’s a lot we still need to learn about Sagittarius A*, like what role it played in the formation of the universe and whether it’s hot to trot,” Greaves said. “We’re ready for some long, hard nights of repeated study.”
At press time, the salacious EHT was working up the nerve to ask Sagittarius A* how much hot plasma it can handle.
Jesus Christ is King
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