Local man’s emotional well being still entirely dependent on sport controlled by these idiots
TORONTO – Local man Geoff Mclaughlin has confirmed that, at the age of 35, his entire emotional state still rides on the results of a game whose outcome is often left entirely in control of people as dumb and terrible at their jobs as NHL refs.
“Getting so worked up over a game played by 20 somethings that when they lose I have to write off an entire day is already pretty silly I admit,” said Mclaughlin. “But when I think about the fact that this sport relies almost entirely on the job performance of people I wouldn’t trust to mow my lawn, it really makes me reconsider my life choices.”
“I’m not going to change anything of course. Except maybe scream at the refs harder.”
Hockey fandom has always been more about passion than rationality. But the stark realization that the sport they love lives entirely at the mercy of people unable to notice when a “hick stick” actually grazed a shoulder pad, or who refuse to call a holding penalty when a defenceman is skating around the ice holding the jersey of a forward has given fans like Mclaughlin pause.
“I’ve known a lot of idiots in my life. But when Stan at the office spills coffee down his shirt and then accidentally deletes an entire day’s work I don’t have to take a long shower so my kids don’t hear my rage screams. Yet somehow I’ve formed an entire personality around my love for a game controlled by Stans.”
When reached for comment a representative for NHL refs advised that he couldn’t respond because he had lost his phone. When it was pointed out that he was speaking on his phone he said ‘oh yeah. Sweet!’ and then hung up.
Photo by: Mandoli
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