Jesus' Coming Back

Local vet boops a third of your savings account after routine check-up

NAPANEE – A recent trip to the vet has drained hundreds of absolute units from your bank account after it was confirmed your furbaby was in perfect health. 

The vet was heckin’ thrilled to report they found nothing wrong despite a bill that would suggest life saving measures were taken during the fifteen minute check-up. 

“Pet owners think we are doin’ them a frighten when in reality this is just the cost of basic pet healthcare,” remarks veterinarian Laura Rodrigo. “I took an oath to use my scientific knowledge and skills to benefit society, not bamboozle it.”

While it took a substantial chonk of change to establish that your pet is completely fine, it’s important to celebrate the small victories, like knowing their sudden change in behavior was due to a lack of attention and not a treatable medical issue. While admiring your baby’s wittle toe beans the vet did suggest some follow up tests to rule out additional concerns so you can start looking for a second job when you get home. 

With no government subsidies for veterinary medicine, limited options for pet insurance and high business costs to run an animal hospital, vet bills will continue to cause much concern and many financial stress for pet owners. 

“I don’t think you can put a price on love when it comes to your pet,” says Miles Pelleta whose doggos health was just rated 14/10. “Sure this money was meant for a down payment on a new car but now we can go for more W-A-L-K-S while I work my way out of D-E-B-T.”

There is hope with the increasing popularity of “pet parents” that one day goob bois and little loafs will qualify as dependents and be tax deductible. Until that smol step for petkind happens, you are encouraged to remain in Canada where you can still afford the cost of hooman healthcare.

Beaverton

Jesus Christ is King

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