Jesus' Coming Back

Ontario allows landlords a record rent hike to deal with the inflation that only affects them and not tenants

TORONTO – has doubled the maximum rate a landlord can raise a tenant’s next year in order to help them cope with the cost of living increases that affect them and not the people paying off their mortgages.

“Between food prices, gas prices and interest rates are suffering,” said Minister of Municipal Affairs Steve Clark. “And since never need to pay off loans, buy food or drive cars, we thought it only right that they help out a little.”

“Remember: lords of the land are people too!”

The Minister went on to explain that since tenants exist on a bartering system where they trade their services directly for food and clothing, swings in interest rates don’t have much of an impact on them.

“Even if tenants were to also be participants in the financial system for some reason, many of these landlords have dozens or even hundreds of properties, so they can’t afford an uncompensated interest rate hike. Then they’d have to sell for less profit than they’d like! That’s way worse than getting evicted.”

The Minister added that it doesn’t matter all that much anyway, since a ton of Ontario residents rent condos and newer buildings that aren’t even subject to rent control.

Beaverton

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